Jane Austin: want the celebrity experience at Cannes? There’s some free merch for that..
So having moaned about the cost of Cannes, the plight of indies and the sidelining of DEI in my previous columns, I’ve decided to lighten up and focus on what excites people at Cannes most: the celebrities.
Once upon a time, celebs at Cannes were flown in by big agencies or brands desperate for some kudos and proximity to star talent. Now many stars have brands and agencies of their own, and are over here flogging their wares like the rest of us.
US talk show host Jimmy Fallon was certainly the most enthusiastic of them. Not since Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s couch have I seen anyone so alarmingly stoked.
Fallon opened his session at the Palais by yelling from the stage that he was “ready to party” and revealed he’d been “jumping into strangers’ arms” while out the night before.
He was there to promote his new show, On Brand, where ordinary people pitch their ideas for ad campaigns to brands. “If you love the idea of ideas, this is the show for you,” Fallon said.
Talking ten to the dozen, he described creatives at Cannes as “his tribe”. He then live-pitched ideas for ads for various brands suggested by the audience. “I have thousands of ideas,” he said. “I love creating.”
Close your eyes and you could have been listening to everyone at the Gutter bar at 3am.
Easily the most iconic celebrity speaking at Cannes this week was Jamie Lee Curtis.
The Hollywood star highlighted the pressure women are under to conform to ridiculous beauty standards. “The cosmeceuticals industry is disfiguring an entire generation of beautiful young women who need nothing except some sunblock,” she said.
Curtis told Cannes that when she signed up as spokeswoman for Activia, her agents were dismayed. But, boy, did she prove them wrong. “I sold yogurt that makes you sh*t for six years and I won an Oscar,” Curtis said – dropping the proverbial mike.
With everyone from 50 Cent to Reece Witherspoon flying in (and, of course, the ubiquitous Will.i.am), the Cannes’ celebrity count on the Croisette seems to go up every year. And, as they live in an air-conditioned bubble, the stars always appear perfectly groomed while the rest of us look like extras in Tenko.
Matt Hancock appeared at the Campaign party last night. Celebrity might be the wrong word to describe the man once called “as useless as a marzipan dildo”, but there he was resplendent in crumpled-free linen. Lets’ hope he’s not planning on launching an app agency, if that’s still a thing. Or getting investment from Michelle Mone.
But even if you can’t have the celebrity experience at Cannes, you can console yourself with free swag. Cannes is flooded with merch this year, with the likes of Yahoo and Pinterest handing out everything from t-shirts and baseball caps to lip balms and Jellycat toys. Handy for Christmas stocking fillers.
Also, you can’t set foot on a branded beach or cabana without being offered a free tattoo. As an innovative new business strategy, I’m think of getting one on my forehead that says “you hum it, I’ll play it”.
Jane Austin is the founder and owner of Persuasion. Communications.
